(photographed by www.amelialyon.net)
i am not jean or austin…
but from those pictures i sure wish I was.
i’ve recently become mildly obsessed with browsing wedding/engagement photos. i don’t really appreciate the cheesy, posed ones but I can appreciate them if they capture a moment; a moment I wish I could have, or had?
i’m enjoying my independence and i know it wouldn’t be fair to whoever I was with, to pretend that I had time or energy for them, when my work consumes me. i’ve already made the decision that it’s not something I want for my life (to work 13 hours a day, and for it to be ok that i forget my kid’s birthday) and change will happen soon enough, but until then..until I meet him I’ll always miss what we had. your eyebrow grew in a funny direction…it’s the same way your mom’s and your grandma’s eyebrows were…i miss brushing them in the opposite direction in an attempt to train them back. i miss the feeling of contentment, feeling complete, feeling loved, being held. I saw you in my future..you are an amazing person and i’m happy for you. i just miss what we had and the circumstances that took it away.
it will pain me to see your engagement photos, but i hope they’re just as captivating.
